it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
