i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
