Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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