I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
