There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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