just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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