We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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