Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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