I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
ttyl tear gas
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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