Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
