sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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