maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
