my sisters under your porch take her home
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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