I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
