Sry I called you an 8
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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