The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
