so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
