What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
3 2 1 whiskey
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
