Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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