There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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