If i come over, it means nothing
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
