I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
