Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
