Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
