Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
