Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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