Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
