I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
