it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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