Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
