at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
