Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
