so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
