I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
