do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
