Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
