Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball

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(440): View more from Ohio

he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously

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(714): View more from California

You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime

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(630): View more from Illinois

I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...

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(217): View more from Illinois

it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....

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(386): View more from Florida

At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures

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