Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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