Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
