So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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