I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
