Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
