I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
