I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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