I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
