white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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