We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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