SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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