Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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