I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My underwear smells like fireworks.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
they're like a gay fantastic four
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
